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Jan. 1st, 2014

Goodbye 2013, Hello un-inked 2014

It has been a very eventful 2013.
Traveled with my own keep, and alone too!
Taking less things for granted, I thank God for everything that happens, and His protection.
And I'm proud to say that I've definitely set aside more time for my friends this year after a very rude wake up call from 2012.
Although I must say in the midst of trying to keep up with everyone, I've let some people whom I don't deserve in my life go as well.
Looking back in 2013, I've grown a little wiser, gone on plenty of adventures and discovered plenty.

Towards 2014 though, I would like continue doing the stuff above,
to see myself less of a wild child,
sleep more,
(my body is agreeing to that too, given that for once I was supportive of going home after countdown in the dead of night, disregarding whether my parents will scold me or not)
more disciplined in both work outs and other commitments,
have a breakthrough in my work,
continue on going for adventures,
worry less and be happier.

And for once(being pretty shy about this),
hopefully fall in love?
(Jiale and gang are all hoping that at least another person gets attached this year HAHA!)

Dec. 11th, 2013

Wild and young

I'm too bloody wild for my own good.
This is the biggest lesson yet and I'm just terribly thankful for God's protection.
It's time I open my eyes bigger to see through people.

Nov. 11th, 2013

Poisoned.

Fame. Wealth. Power. Beauty. Masks.


My pupils are dilated
My right foot's stuck in this tar but I'm allowing
myself to lean back to get more,more and more
My ear drums are ruptured but I keep the music pumpin'.
I'm young but old, wise yet wild
I'm spinning round and round, faster I yearn to go
Too fast to smell them roses,
too young to die.
Beauty hurts.

Sorry for being a late bloomer.

Nov. 6th, 2013

Breath taken.

It's been an eventful 8 day journey with two of my friends, across the Malaysian and Thai borders. (the very first incident started with my bus breaking down even before we met up at Queens street to take the cab into Malaysia)
Squeezing a total of 5 cities into this trip alone, I'd daresay this has been the most happening event for this year.
Surprisingly, there was plenty to learn from this trip.

Environments bring out the best or worst in people,like being in a developed country made me feel so jittery, the tighter the security, the more unsafe I felt. Whereas taking the 10 hour ride from Hat Yai to Surat Thani on a seasoned train was entirely refreshing despite the fact that yes we were dying to reach our destination in the final hour. People were nice and helpful, unlike the cold looks you'd see everyday as a city girl. The scenery as the train ambled past, so close to nature and unpretentious, We waved to some people working in the fields, and they waved back. Simple things like these warm the heart up so much.

We'd been scammed a couple of times(tuk tuk driver doped us into thinking they'd send us off to the ferry point to get to Koh Samui but instead ushered us out 5 mins later to meet another lady who then sold us means of transport for the rest of the journey), but my friend told us to just pass it off as charity. Back home, my dad would say just pretend you gave it to beggars. I think I prefer my friend's way of saying it.

And there was an instance where this driver started scolding me for almost having my knees touch his precious garlands he had gotten from a temple for good luck(well I'm sorry I was born with grasshopper legs), and he was going overboard(I really thought so) scolding me. The usual me would have already radiated a murderous vibe and gone into a sulk,imagining all horrible scenes possible where I'd beat the pulp of this crude man, but instead I forbade myself to get angry over such an uncouth person and went all far deep into the galaxy telling myself that this is an important step to a successful life(you must never let such people who belt out lowly acts in an attempt to ruin your day/bring you down, smile and change your perspective, learn something from this incident instead). Well yea, I certainly do know what the dried flowers are for now and know how much it means to the Thai people.

But of course there were the nice ones too. People who came to our aid without expecting rewards in return. An Irish couple came to our rescue and checked our car out (apparently the battery died when we accidentally left the headlights on and went to party). A very nice girl who wanted to pay for our drink on the train (3 of us hopeless pigeons had no clue what the seller was saying), and then later giving us a train schedule(not that we'll need it anymore but it was a nice gesture nonetheless). And definitely everyone who have been very patient with our never ending questions (especially to the boy who worked at Tropical Garden Lodge in Koh Samui)

I had a fair bit of cultural exchange with my friends too, it's so cute that we happened to be from 3 different races. Got a bit of a shock at how my friends reacted when they accidentally had pork bun (they are Muslims by the way) and couldn't help but feel very guilty for being Chinese and suddenly wishing pork never existed to as to save my friends from the trouble of having to check if any food contained traces of my pink, bouncy friend.

And then there's the fun stuff too, like hiking up to the waterfalls and stuff. But let's wait for the pictures to do the talking. I'm actually still reflecting on this adventure but my brain's been awfully slow ever since I got back, like some old kettle that goes "put put put". And I sleep like a granny,(dozing off everywhere)
Is it me getting old or is the my sleep debt knocking at the door (mum told me my eye bags were terrible the moment she saw me when I came home)?
I hope it's the latter :(((

Jul. 26th, 2013

Mute.



Indeed it always has been. 
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Jul. 25th, 2013

You don't wear my chains.



Fight my inner demons.
Day after day. 

Jul. 9th, 2013

Fighting.



So I've started doing martial arts for probably 2 months already now.
Boxing and Muay Thai that is.
I've come to realize how incredibly stiff my body is, it moves so awkwardly when throwing a series of punches and kicks, so much so that I'm pretty sure I'd emerge the winner from a dance off with a bot.
And I've been trying hard to keep to my strict diet of salad for lunch and no dinners other than a pathetic wrap or something after classes to provide my body some energy for healing.
Haven't been doing exactly well on that..with all the birthdays that's been going on:(
And it's been burning holes after holes in my pocket too.
But oh well, it's everyone's 21st after all, as the tradition goes.

P.S: I'm currently obsessed with this little golden-ish strand of hair that grows out a little right from my mouth.
Mom says it's probably a good luck charm or something.
I'd reckon it's pretty gross actually if anyone were to ever want to kiss me and see that but Imma keep just in case I need it to look wise and stall for time while trying to find a logical answer if someone were to ask me something I can't answer hahahaha.

Jun. 16th, 2013

Bali Bong

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Had an amazing trip to Bali.
Went solo(first time!) after my friends took off back to Singapore.
God it was so amazing.
New friends, new experiences, more memories.
Surfing's mad fun, but suffered some terrible wounds and am kinda worried that I might have broken my toe :/
I think I've gotten a little braver after this, and thank God for taking care of me from above.
Right now, I'm just as tanned as one of the Kuta boys!
Can't wait to go back to Bali! 

May. 15th, 2013

家不像家

"I wish you would just keep quiet and go to sleep or something"
Would I one day come back to this post and cry wishing I never conceived those thoughts?
Sometimes I wish I would, really I sincerely do.
But deep down in the rest of our hearts we know we would instead sigh.
Sigh a sigh of relief.
Sometimes I wish I never watched those stupid comedic movies about families.
I only become more green, more frustrated.
But why has it now come to a point where I seek for an answer from You but receive none?
I'm tired of all the answers not given and flipping the little book of so-called hope.
Everyone's wearing their own chains and I'm choking in mine.
Probably those who strut past me are already dead.
The harbinger of cynics has already touched me and gone,
passing on batons to many all empty and alone.
I flip my little book of hope.
And never felt so forlorn.
As I smash the picture perfect life imagined and tear myself from within. 

May. 12th, 2013

irreplaceable

As the polluted Earth revolves around the Sun, while the moon revolves us a little more,
our minds turn a little darker, a little more cynical each day.
Skin becomes a little more taunt, a little line creeps around the corner of another's eye.
More conscious of ourselves, we shell ourselves in, a fake smile or two to get by the day.
It's pretty tiring sometimes, but rewarding for it saves the hassle of filtering thoughts and words, for fear of being judged.
I'm thankful for my friends, those who accepted me for who am I, the stupid antics, the foolish mindset and the crazy, wild ideas.
I have this secondary bunch of friends who, thankfully, are on the same frequency as I am.
We can spend the whole day together but on the way home, I can never seem to recall any of our conversations.
But it definitely left a happy feeling having met them, speaking gibberish and laughing as though fed with some Nitrous Oxide.
We are incredibly different fro one another and sometimes I really do stop and wonder how we manage to stick by together.
It's not always sunshine and daisies, we do have our quarrels too, but we always looked past them forcefully and move along.
This group of friends I have is definitely the craziest yet, Running man in Mustafa, I can't wait for our next special episode!
Sigh, I'm proud of all my friends.(okay this sounds so weird to say this let alone use it to send my post but whatever I'm really amazed by each and everyone of whom I call a friend! Cheers to all of you! :)

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